Financing for the house is becoming painful to wait for! I'm not flipping out though. Okay, I'm flipping out. I can hardly type. Oh, the waiting!
I have virtually no patience for this as I need to use it on ridiculous conversations such as this:
"Hi, I'm 369."
"Oh! I mean, computer 369. I have some prints to pick up."
"Oh, certainly, it will be just a moment."
(Patron wiggles and mini-paces back and forth in front of my desk. Giggles like a little girl, although he is about 250 pounds and looks something like Barry White.)
"It will probably be a few minutes as it appears that you have a number of pages."
"Oh that's okay. I'm just addicted to flesh, you know, there's just something about it. I don't know what it is."
I smile and nod, as if I know what the hell in the hootenany he's talking about. And although I try hard not to notice what patrons are printing, it's impossible to not see the all caps http://BIGGEST_BLACK_DICK_IN_THE_WORLD_!" come up on the printer release screen. This among other, more imaginative titles.
He continues to jiggle and twitch, and I pretend to straighten the returned reference books.
"I've just got to look, you know?"
"Sure, uh huh."
I love the library.