Laura, Luci, and I got the the park blocks for lunch and were just getting settled in, unwrapping our sandwiches, when out from behind a tree swung a large, swarthy man in sweaty clothing, brandishing a gun.

"Where's my cheesecake?" he asked gruffly.

We stared at him, not saying anything. I held my breath, thinking that my salami sandwich would make a pretty lame shield.

Then I realized that his gun was, in fact, a water gun.

"Where's my CHEESECAKE?" he asked again, and one of us said, "I don't know."

"No cheesecake?" he said, a bit softer this time, the hint of a deranged smile touching his lips.

"Maybe it's down there," I said, pointing down the block.

He laughed and pointed his gun at the ground and walked away.

"Not funny," I muttered, and turned my attention to my lunch.

We ate quickly and went down the street to a hip clothing store that we had been told was having a 50% off everything-in-the-store sale. We grazed the first racks by the door, skimmed the shoes, and made our way into the main area.

"Is there anything specific you guys needed help finding?" a dredlocked woman called over a counter filled with skull-emblazoned panties.

"No, we're just...killing time before going back to work," I shrugged and started looking at a display of black t-shirts.

She nodded and wandered away.

I pointed out some baby clothes with bright orange flames to Laura, and stared hard at the many different colors of tights on the wall, trying to will a plain black pair of fishnets to jump out at me. I picked up a shirt with a weird looking bunny on it and shook it out to see if their idea of small matched mine, and suddenly the dredlocked woman was back.

"Look, if you guys really are just 'killing time' and not actually shopping, I have a lot of work to do, so..." She let her statement hang in the air.

I thought she might be trying to make some sort of weird joke so I refolded the shirt, smiled and said, "Excuse me?"

"It's just that I'm getting kicked out of here in two days, I'm losing my business, so if you aren't actually shopping, then I'd appreciate it if you didn't mess anything up. I just see that you're unfolding those clothes and I really have a lot of stuff to do."

Okay, now I was really confused.

"We're actually shopping."

"Well, that's not what you told me before."

"No, but I meant that we had been told about this sale, and so we came down here to look, but not with anything in mind..." I frowned and limply held out the shirt to her. "But I've been refolding everything I've looked at."

"It's just that I'm getting kicked out in two days and I have a lot of work to do, and I'm not trying to be super bitchy or anything but I guess I kind of am..."

"That's completely understandable," I said and just sort of nodded.

I had been prepared to buy a shirt or two. I think we all had been. It probably wouldn't have solved any of this lady's problems, but hey, every little bit counts, right? But now I was being talked to like I was an obnoxious teenager ripping apart a store and leaving torn clothes and spilled food in my wake, and that feeling wasn't conducive to putting me in a purchasing mood.

"We really are shopping," I lamely said, and sort of wandered away.

After a few awkward moments trying to gather everyone together without making too big of a scene, we went outside to regroup and talk about getting shakes.

As she exited, Laura lobbed "I hope you have a better afternoon," to the woman.

"I'm sorry, it's just that, I'm losing my business and I just really appreciate it and, you know..."

"I'm no good at being rude," Laura said as we angled for the coffee shop. "She just totally misinterpreted my comment. She was all nice." She rolled her eyes.

The guy at the coffee shop, well known for his niceness and cheery attitude, snapped at Laura to make a decision about the type of ice cream she wanted in her peanut butter shake.

"Is chocolate or vanilla better?" she asked.

"Well, you HAVE to decide," he snapped with his back turned.

We just barely made it back to the library in time to take over the call desks.

The assaults on our little group were starting to make our stomachs turn.

I sat down, thinking I was glad to be on the other side of the counter, and that I would make it my personal goal to be extra nice for the rest of the day to make up for all the wackos out there today. Within two minutes, and ancient man approached the counter and asked for help with copying a poem. I did so, happily, and returned his materials to him. He asked for a pair of scissors.

Thinking that he wanted to cut the page in half and reassemble the contents (a popular activity) I handed them over.

He said thank you, and then proceeded to CUT HIS EAR HAIR ON MY DESK!

Before I could put my astonished thoughts together to say anything, he laughed a toothless laugh and handed them sheepishly back.

"Gotta keep your eye on that stuff; it'll take over if you let it."

"Nicely said," was all I could think of to say, and he kept laughing and waved heartily as he limped away.