Some random guy tried to grab hold of me as I was shelving CDs today, a basic patron no-no.

I had been clenching my teeth about a kid listening to his headphones almost too loud. No one seemed to be bothered by him, and I couldn't tell if it was just because I happened to be totally in his personal space, as he wanted the pile of CDs in my hands, which you would have to pry from my cold, dead body before I would just give them up like that.

Then The Grabber laughed really loud, a staccato burst of insane sounding revelry and then nothing. I clenched my teeth together hard enough to hear enamel cracking and swung around to say something, but I didn't see anyone.

I started flipping through the classical section, orchestral, and suddenly an alien paw reached out from the other side of the shelf and made a swipe and my wrist.

I bent over a bit and peered through the opening. There was The Grabber, giggling to himself and wiggling his eyebrows at me. I gave him my best no-nonsense glare over the top of my glasses and pointed right at him, prepared to make a scene if he swatted at me again with anything resembling intention to yank my arm through the shelving.

But he reacted like a 2nd grader and hunched over, then scuttled away like a crab.

Then Headphone Guy started singing along, loud and proud.

I grabbed my truck and took off for the relative safety of the reference desk.

Jesus.