Do you hate the planet?

Conversation between a friend and a Safeway checker latenight in SE Portland:
"Hi, how are you? Oh, this six-pack looks like the bottom might be sort of weak."
"Yeah, could I get a bag for it?"
"Do you hate the planet?"
"What? No, I love the planet. And animals and small children. I'd just like a bag for my purchases."
"I hate animals and small children. I find them disgusting."
"Well, I'm going to have to disagree with you on that, but thanks for selling me alcohol."
"Whatever."