List to catch you up:

-We have termites. And carpenter ants. And no money.
-Portly can no longer shimmy under Chris' dresser as she is too chunky.
-My 30th birthday yeilded me a pink cake with Funfetti frosting, a Get Fuzzy Calendar, a killer unicorn, and lots of drinks.
-The ceiling in the garage is leaking above the dryer.
-I'm obsessed with Ranma 1/2. Mostly the show, but the books are good too. Teenage boys turning into girls and grown men turning into giant pandas seem to be 'my thing.'
-When I requested a clear acrylic ball for my labret piercing at the jewelry counter, the woman asked if it was for work. I said no, it was for my mom, and she gave me a look that could only be described as 'whithering.'
-My work area looks like a demilitarized zone.
-I washed the curtains in the living room after I opened them and was covered with a cascade of cat hair.
-The neighbor kid's biggest wish right now is that dinosaurs were still alive, didn't eat people(or stomp on them), and could be ridden to school.
-I'm paying someone to do my taxes this year. Fuck it.