last night i dreamt that my tattoo artist gave me an infectious vampire hickey on the back of my neck. in order to hide it, i put a flesh colored bandage over it. i went home and began to get ready for bed. chris yelled, "what is that on your back?" and i thought "oh crap, he knows i'm a vampire now." but he was really talking about the enormous pen drawing that had been done in tattoo style on my back. it said "FIFTIES STRIPPERS BREAK MY HEART" and underneath the letters was a picture of a stripper from the 50's. we worked hard to wash it off, but it had been drawn with so much force that it sort of scarred onto my back...unfortunately, when i woke up this morning, i hadn't been made into a vampire by my tattoo guy. but luckily, no pen version of a stocky cupcake was carved into my back either.