i had my first krispy kreme donut right out of the vat of oil the other day. the lady working behind the counter was just handing them out, it was really great. the long line of people in front of us were literally fighting with each other over who got the most recently created gut bombs. arms outstretched, money clutched in plump sweaty fingers, the whole lot of them were impatient, short, and rolly polly. watching them clambering up the effectively designed glass display case, which kept anyone from actually vaulting over the counter and into the deep fry area, but in a tasteful way, i thought. chris and i ate our complimentary glazed donuts and then, satiated, decided to leave the wrestling to those who were clearly more motivated to do so...
what else...some lady, unhappy with her life, put her feet up on the chair in front of her at the movie theater on halloween and refused to let three of us by her. i don't know for sure that she is unhappy with her life, as she never said a word, just stared obstinately at the rolling credits, oblivious to our at first polite and increasingly louder and more harsh inquiries for her to move her legs, her husband sitting silently on her other side, the two of them complicit in a grandiose display of text-book passive-aggressive behavior. i eventually, being the first person in line, and not hip to her little game, just climbed over the seats in front of them and escaped to the aisle. eddy made it past her eventually with a resounding 'jesus christ!' which made me realize that their antisocial behavior was directed at us personally. kate just stared at her and said 'hey, i didn't get up during the movie. you don't have to do this to me.' or something along those lines. we laughed and laughed. they had obviously planned this and had been thinking about it ever since i got up(only once because my bladder was about to explode) to use the restroom. beware, you social heathens! do not enter the city or any public place, for that matter, if you do not wish to have any human contact which may inconvenience you. you will be mocked mercilessly if you do not heed this warning!!
ha ha ha!!(swoosh of black cape, fold into misty night, cue the baying hound)
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